Storytime!
I’m at a Quiz Bowl meet with Krista. We’re chilling before the meet when our coach says to her, “Hey, where’d you get that bracelet?”
This is the bracelet that they give out at our support group. It says “GLBT Ally” on it. You can see how this is potentially an awkward situation.
Krista handled it gracefully by deflecting the question to me. I told our coach that it was from a youth group, which is true. This pretty much floored her, until I clarified that it wasn’t a church youth group.
“Oh,” the coach mentions casually. “I was looking into starting one of those groups at our school.”
Say WHAT?
This is exciting news! The coach is busy right now, but soon, she’s going to start getting support from our admittedly conservative school administration. However, as they always tell us at my support group: As long as there is one teacher willing to host it, no school can stop a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) from meeting.
The idea that we could have a GSA at my school is totally exhilarating! I’d love to be the student who started it. We have about 1,200 kids. According to the statistics, that’s about 100 kids who would be interested. That’s a lot of members! Even if we only had a membership of 20, or even 10, I would consider my time well spent.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
A Sense of Community
There are so many things going on right now, I don't even know where to start.
Transgender news:
There are now three transsexuals attending my support group! This is really big news.
The first has chosen the name Mia, and she puts my feminization efforts to shame. Really, from voice to body to attitude, she's got it going on. Very impressive. At first, it really bothered me when she came, because she's so much better at appearing female than I am. Now, though, I'm getting over that. We're going to meet up before the meeting next week and do hair/makeup together (she goes to beauty school).
The second has chosen the name Ryan. That's right, we now have an FTM! By most scientific studies (not that there have been a lot), FTMs are give or take twice as rare as MTFs. I haven't spoken with Ryan much--he's very shy. Now, here's the real kicker: Ryan and I go to the same school. Talk about defying the statistics! According to the figures, schools should only get one MTF by the time they hit ~6,000 students, and one FTM by the time they hit ~12,000, but we have (at least) one of both with only 1,500 students! Crazy, crazy world.
Personal news:
This week at my support group was the first day that I went completely, totally all-out female. I wore my purple dress, painted my toenails (I did a good job for a first try ever), and had my friend Sharon (she's the one who got me the dress) do my hair/makeup.
We got to the meeting early; Lindsey and Krista both came with me. Krista's been to a meeting before, but this was Lindsey's first time. Anyway, they both helped Sharon get my look into order. Sharon surprised me with a tight belt that, when worn around my ribs, simultaneously gave me hips and a chest. It was wonderful. So much wonderful! People told me that I have a great figure for dresses.
It's a wonderful time to be alive!
Transgender news:
There are now three transsexuals attending my support group! This is really big news.
The first has chosen the name Mia, and she puts my feminization efforts to shame. Really, from voice to body to attitude, she's got it going on. Very impressive. At first, it really bothered me when she came, because she's so much better at appearing female than I am. Now, though, I'm getting over that. We're going to meet up before the meeting next week and do hair/makeup together (she goes to beauty school).
The second has chosen the name Ryan. That's right, we now have an FTM! By most scientific studies (not that there have been a lot), FTMs are give or take twice as rare as MTFs. I haven't spoken with Ryan much--he's very shy. Now, here's the real kicker: Ryan and I go to the same school. Talk about defying the statistics! According to the figures, schools should only get one MTF by the time they hit ~6,000 students, and one FTM by the time they hit ~12,000, but we have (at least) one of both with only 1,500 students! Crazy, crazy world.
Personal news:
This week at my support group was the first day that I went completely, totally all-out female. I wore my purple dress, painted my toenails (I did a good job for a first try ever), and had my friend Sharon (she's the one who got me the dress) do my hair/makeup.
We got to the meeting early; Lindsey and Krista both came with me. Krista's been to a meeting before, but this was Lindsey's first time. Anyway, they both helped Sharon get my look into order. Sharon surprised me with a tight belt that, when worn around my ribs, simultaneously gave me hips and a chest. It was wonderful. So much wonderful! People told me that I have a great figure for dresses.
It's a wonderful time to be alive!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Alexandria gets her dress
I got a dress! I got a dress! I got a dress!
This is huge. I don’t think that anything is quite as feminine as a good dress—there’s a reason girls wear them at formal occasions.
It’s a simple, purple dress, comes to my ankles. Complete with padding, even. I was in the dressing room trying to figure out how to put it on (I’ve never done that before!) for several minutes. Finally figured it out. I put it on, straightened it out, then turned and looked in the mirror.
My hands went to my mouth in that “oh my god” expression of amazement. It felt so incredibly right to be wearing that dress. I nearly cried, it was so wonderful. This dress says, “I’ve got a figure and I’m proud of it.” The friend that I went with had much the same reaction.
Oh, right. I went shopping, got called ‘ma’am’ and ‘lady’ the whole time, even after speaking, so apparently I’m passable. Really, though, I’m on such a high from this dress, that barely even factors into this painfully huge grin that’s been stuck on my face for half an hour.
I’m making a note here—“huge success.”
This is huge. I don’t think that anything is quite as feminine as a good dress—there’s a reason girls wear them at formal occasions.
It’s a simple, purple dress, comes to my ankles. Complete with padding, even. I was in the dressing room trying to figure out how to put it on (I’ve never done that before!) for several minutes. Finally figured it out. I put it on, straightened it out, then turned and looked in the mirror.
My hands went to my mouth in that “oh my god” expression of amazement. It felt so incredibly right to be wearing that dress. I nearly cried, it was so wonderful. This dress says, “I’ve got a figure and I’m proud of it.” The friend that I went with had much the same reaction.
Oh, right. I went shopping, got called ‘ma’am’ and ‘lady’ the whole time, even after speaking, so apparently I’m passable. Really, though, I’m on such a high from this dress, that barely even factors into this painfully huge grin that’s been stuck on my face for half an hour.
I’m making a note here—“huge success.”
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Stealth Test
This week's post will be made on Sunday. I'm going shopping on Sunday, and one of the people I'm going with doesn't know that I'm trans. This will be a great way to see if I can pull off "girl," not just "transgender."
Wish me luck!
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Open Discussion
I'm going to open up this week's post to answering questions from readers (you're out there somewhere, I know it!). Have an awkward question? A normal question? Any sort of comment or query? Just send it to diaryofateenagetranssexual@yahoo.com and I'll answer it for the weekend's post.
Alternately, you can leave it in a comment.
If I don't get a lot, I'll do a post as usual! Cheers, friends.
Alternately, you can leave it in a comment.
If I don't get a lot, I'll do a post as usual! Cheers, friends.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Homecoming and the Schools
80% rap music + male clothing = an unhappy tgirl at Homecoming.
I was really hoping that I would be able to put aside the total mismatch with my clothing to my identity and just enjoy the evening. Maybe, if the music had been somewhere approaching tolerable, I could have. As it is, not so much.
Seeing all the girls in their dresses was frustrating. When you’re in guy clothes, the only questions you have to ask are “what color shirt?” and “what color tie?” That’s it. No choice, no variety, no fun. Just plain, simple, and horribly fitting. Having lost weight and come out to myself since the last time I wore them, they didn’t fit me physically or mentally.
Dresses, though! Dresses give so many options. Length, fabric, style, flair, cut, everything and everything can be worked with. I desperately wanted to be able to wear a dress—a nice, long, flowing dress, probably one bare shoulder, in a blue or a green. My hair would have been in curls or up in an elaborate bun.
I often wonder how the school would react to a “Homecoming [Drag] Queen” rather than a Homecoming Queen. I mean, doesn’t every school have a quirky member to fit every little niche? You’ve got your flamboyant gay, your football gay, your country girl with an accent, so on, so forth. I realize that’s horribly stereotyping, but I’m trying to see things from the perspective of my school. Would it be okay to have a transgender girl (tgirl)?
That actually begs another question I’ve been wondering. Our school displays the pictures of all the valedictorians and salutatorians on a plaque in the hallway outside the main office. Assuming I get one of those, which I’m fairly sure I can pull off, would they put up my picture if I took it as Alexandria? Our principal is a Southern, traditional kind of guy—I wouldn’t put it past him to declare that “obscene” and refuse to put me up there, or even bump me from the top stop for “disciplinary reasons.”
Are the schools of America ready for transgender boys and girls?
I don’t have an answer for you. I don’t have an answer for me, come to think of it. I just really, really, desperately hope that when I go to college, I’ll be passable enough to go to Homecoming in a beautiful dress without raising eyebrows. I don’t know how many dances I can go to as a man and retain my sanity.
I was really hoping that I would be able to put aside the total mismatch with my clothing to my identity and just enjoy the evening. Maybe, if the music had been somewhere approaching tolerable, I could have. As it is, not so much.
Seeing all the girls in their dresses was frustrating. When you’re in guy clothes, the only questions you have to ask are “what color shirt?” and “what color tie?” That’s it. No choice, no variety, no fun. Just plain, simple, and horribly fitting. Having lost weight and come out to myself since the last time I wore them, they didn’t fit me physically or mentally.
Dresses, though! Dresses give so many options. Length, fabric, style, flair, cut, everything and everything can be worked with. I desperately wanted to be able to wear a dress—a nice, long, flowing dress, probably one bare shoulder, in a blue or a green. My hair would have been in curls or up in an elaborate bun.
I often wonder how the school would react to a “Homecoming [Drag] Queen” rather than a Homecoming Queen. I mean, doesn’t every school have a quirky member to fit every little niche? You’ve got your flamboyant gay, your football gay, your country girl with an accent, so on, so forth. I realize that’s horribly stereotyping, but I’m trying to see things from the perspective of my school. Would it be okay to have a transgender girl (tgirl)?
That actually begs another question I’ve been wondering. Our school displays the pictures of all the valedictorians and salutatorians on a plaque in the hallway outside the main office. Assuming I get one of those, which I’m fairly sure I can pull off, would they put up my picture if I took it as Alexandria? Our principal is a Southern, traditional kind of guy—I wouldn’t put it past him to declare that “obscene” and refuse to put me up there, or even bump me from the top stop for “disciplinary reasons.”
Are the schools of America ready for transgender boys and girls?
I don’t have an answer for you. I don’t have an answer for me, come to think of it. I just really, really, desperately hope that when I go to college, I’ll be passable enough to go to Homecoming in a beautiful dress without raising eyebrows. I don’t know how many dances I can go to as a man and retain my sanity.
Plans for the Post
This week's post will come tomorrow. The Homecoming dance is tonight; I should have some interesting insights from that.
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