Coming Out: Family Edition

Coming out is a long process. Saying “I’m gay” or “I’m lesbian” or “I’m transgender” to everyone who needs to know can take a long time, and it has the potential to shake up any relationship. Actually, saying “I’m gay” might be a little easier, since that is just an orientation—being transgender is a basic identity change, as many people see it.

Side tangent: Just because I’m female doesn’t mean that I’m a different person. I have the same hopes, dreams, and aspirations that I had as a male; I’m just wearing different clothing in the end picture.

After a lot of thought, I’ve decided to start coming out to my mom’s side of the family. They’re the generally more liberal/less religious side, so I’m starting with them. There are also a lot of them, so one or two bad reactions won’t be disastrous.

An aunt and two uncles know now, and they’re all very supportive. It isn’t really the aunts, uncles, or cousins that I am worried about; it is the grandparents. Due to divorce/remarriage, I’ve actually got three grandparents on that side, and I don’t know how any of them will take it. They’re of a different generation entirely than today’s, which is slowly moving towards acceptance.

My aunt advises that I should go to their house to tell them rather than telling them at mine. That’s understandable—they’ll be in comfortable surroundings, so it should be less of a shock. Besides, that way, if they do react badly, they won’t have to drive home angrily. (I’m only half joking with that.)

I don’t think it will be at a family gathering that I’ll tell the lot of them. One or two at a time would be best. Whenever they come over to visit, most likely, I’ll pull them aside with mom (again, making them feel more comfortable by surrounding them with familiar things) and talk about it with them. Some of them will probably be like, “oh. Okay. Cool.” Others will be confused, which is understandable. Transsexuals are one of the fringe groups in the GLBTQ umbrella. (Most estimates place the transgender rate for male-to-females at 1 in 3000).

Wish me luck!